Curt Tales TM

Copyright © 2004 Frank G. Van Atta. All rights reserved.


Bubba McCoy claims he didn't mean to steal anything from Fatbacks's Restaurant when he inadvertently left the Friday Fish Fest with his pants full of fried catfish, but the local sheriff isn't buying it. Bubba's headed for the hoosegow.

"The fried catfish fell down the front of my pants when I leaned across the table to get a pitcher of beer," Bubba tried to explain as he was led out of his house in handcuffs, "and I just didn't notice it until I changed my underwear Saturday night." Bubba claims he was as surprised as anyone to see fish falling out of his shorts. "I saw all them fish layin' on my bathroom floor, and I figgered I musta got drunk Friday night and gone fishin' somewhere," Bubba said. "Besides, I only ate a few. It's not like the cafe won't get most of 'em back."

"I don't think so," Sheriff Earl Goodleby said. "One fish I might buy as an accident, and two or three might even qualify as inadvertent," he explained, "but I think 17 fish definitely falls in the stealin' category."

Fatback Restuarant's owner agrees with the sheriff. "It's supposed to be an All-You-Can-Eat Fish Fry," said Bobby Joe Baken, "not an All-You-Can-Swipe. Bubba had already eaten 7 plates of catfish and a dozen orders of hush puppies, so I was losin' enough money on him already."

Bubba will be arraigned in Rhea County Superior Court tomorrow on a count of Felony Fish Filching. And, he'll probably end up going to jail; he couldn't explain how the grits got in his pocket, either. Or the hush puppies in his shirt.

Copyright © 2004 Frank G. Van Atta. All rights reserved.